Excited feeling and complicated things...

Oh, my budget for Estonia is 113 euros and 55 cents, not bad. It's actually 133 euros and 55 cents, but I put aside 20 euros, because of course I'll have to eat. :'D I'm so excited! I'm not waiting this trip as much as last year, but I'm so grateful to go. My family doesn't have enough money to buy a trips abroad, but last year my godfather paid my trip to Estonia, and this time my mom and godfather paid it together. I love my family, even though times aren't good, they try to give me a chance to see the world. I'm the only child, so my mom doesn't let me to an exchange student or language trip (but I understand it, because we can't afford it) because she is so afraid that I'm going to die. Even more when I was diagnosed epilepsy, but I haven't had seizures for ages.

Tomorrow! TOMORROW WE GO! I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! (I know, I know, musical seizures aren't so great in the internet...) Only minus is, that we have to sit in a bus with full of people. But I planned to take my computer with me, and a few books. I have downloaded  a few movies, and maybe I write a little. I have three books with me, Philip Roth: The Ghost WriterErnest Hemingway: The sun also rises and Ernest Hemingway: The Old Man and the Sea. Fourteen hours in a bus may fly within wings with these golden ones♥ Only one which is missing, is some book from Stephen King or Stephen Hawking. Both are masters, the first is the master of writing and the second one is the master of science.

I admire both, they're great. But there is something I want to confess to you. I thought that I was agnostic, but before I watched Thor, I started thinking about it. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes to me. I think I finally found my religion, and it's norse mythology.With Thor, Odin, Baldur, Frigga and many others. Last time when my mother was afraid of thunder, I tried to comfort her:
"It's only Thor. He's angry or he is practicing. There's nothing to be afraid, he's opening Bifrost soon, then you can calm down. Maybe he visits here or Alfheim"

For some reason, she didn't believe me... Maybe it's because she's evangelical lutheran. My religion has always been complicated, because I don't believe in christian God, nor Allah or any else God. I only believed, that everyone's religion is true. I still believe in Narnia and Aslan, but I believe norse gods too. And I meditate, concentrate to my chakras and everything like that. Because I believe that it makes me a better person. It is too complicated to be told everyone, and they would laugh at me. Say, that I've read too much. That I've gone mad. *Sigh*

But now, here's one song, which makes helps me meditate. And it helps me to sleep, if I listen to it while I'm in bed. I hope that you enjoy it too'! :)

7.10.2012 Time 1:46:00 pm

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